Feelings

I don't know about you guys, but i'm a VERY sensitive person. My feelings get hurt easily, even though I try to not let them. I don't know if it has something to do with my anxiety and depression, but it happens. I hate confrontations. I hate fighting. I'll walk away if I have to.

I also usually pick up on whatever mood somebody else is in. If everyone is happy, i'm super happy. If everyone is sad, i'm sad with them. Something I really hate it. I hate to be around negative people. I think I somehow think if I feel the same as them, i'll be able to fix it.

I cry easily, but usually in private. I'll hold the hurt with me for a few days even though I know I need to let it go. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and sometimes that's not a great thing. I do love with everything I have though. If I love you, you'll know it. I didn't get alot of love growing up but somehow I know how to give it. I'm lucky. I never had the nurturing mother, the closeness.

My Dad was  always loving, and we are very close, but being a female, I needed my Mom. I can't blame her though, she lost her Mom  when she was 11. Sometimes i'm awkward having relationships with females, even my friends. I find it easier to have male friends.

I'm still somewhat shy, but my medication has made it a little better. I'm not scared of the world now lol People would think I was snotty because I sat in the corner not talking to anyone and not making eye contact. I'm the complete opposite! I just wish I knew how to have better relationships with females.

When I was in therapy we worked alot on this, but stupidly I dropped out. It's hard to bring those things up and have to talk about them all over again. I hope to start therapy again soon, so I don't have to live like this forever.

xoxo
Meg